Maternal Chip Missing?

20 Sep

Let me just start by saying this post is not intended to be judgmental of anyone, we’re all different, we all cope with things in different ways and I would never presume my way or opinion was infinitely more valuable than anyone else’s.  In fact, I question myself most of the time!

I follow a lot of fellow Mums on Twitter who have children of a similar age to Aidan and recently a lot of the tweeting has been about their little ones starting nursery or pre-school and how anxious they (the Mums) are feeling about the whole process.

The hubby and I have been extremely fortunate so far with regards to childcare in that, although I work part-time, Aidan has always been able to be looked after by either of his Nannys on the days that I work.  It’s gone well, they love having him and he enjoys spending time with them and is really close to both sets of grandparents which we’re so pleased about.  We were also pleased that we didn’t need to put Aidan into nursery as soon as I went back to work which was when he was 8.5 months old.  The biggest reason for this was financial, nurseries are expensive!

As time went on we started to think about the possibility of putting Aidan into nursery 1 day a week when he got to 18 months old, mostly for socialising and developing confidence (although he’s full of that!) and sharing skills.  Work wasn’t particularly busy for me (I’m self-employed) so this got changed to 2 years old.

Aidan turned 2 at the end of July (future blog post warning!) and the following factors were still affecting our decision:


Work is still not that abundant for me so it’s hard to justify the £50 a day expense of nursery.


99% of the time Aidan no longer has a nap during the day and if he does he is a total nightmare come bedtime.  He just doesn’t seem to need as much sleep as other children his age.  Apparently, my brothers and I were exactly the same!  All of his friends who go to nursery sleep there for approximately 2 hours during the day and a couple of them go to bed much later than Aidan as a result.  I like my evenings thank you!  Obviously if I haven’t seen him all day then more time with him in the evening would be great, but if this became the norm and he wanted to do this on the other days too – no way! (Aren’t I horrible?)


We have put Aidan’s name down on the list for the local pre-school attached to the best (non-Catholic) primary school in the area.  In fact, the school being a 5 minutes walk up the road was one of the major deciding factors when we moved!  He can start there the term after he turns 3 (September 2011) and the lady who lived here before us gave us the impression that children who have been to the pre-school get a slight preference when it comes to admission to the primary school (her little boy went to both) which would obviously be ace.  However, I have recently found out about a few local pre-schools (not attached to schools) which will take children from 2.5 or even, in 1 case, 2 years old.  These seem to be about £10-£15 a session (2.5-3 hours) and he could possibly go for 2 mornings a week until September next year which would be a lot cheaper than nursery!  Also, a lot of nurseries around here operate on a 2 day minimum which we don’t need and can’t realistically afford.  So, it looks like one of these local pre-schools is the best option for us at the moment.

Anyway, I’m waffling… (I do that, sorry!)

My point is this:

I’m not worried about Aidan starting pre-school or nursery.  I have no doubts that he will play nicely and thrive in an environment geared towards learning and discovery through play.  I’m sure he will also relish the opportunity to play with other boys his age as all of his NCT friends are girls!  The only small concern I have is that he may miss a familiar face when he first starts but I’m confident that he will adjust to this quickly.

I’m also (and this is probably the most controversial bit!) not especially worried about handing over the care of Aidan to, effectively, a roomful of strangers.  I’m confident in our ability to have assessed the pre-school when visited, to have talked to the staff about their policies, watched the children playing there and determined how content they seem.  I also place trust in the systems in place for checking nursery and pre-school staff prior to employment.

So, my questions are these:  Am I being naïve?  Is there something wrong with me?  Do I have a maternal chip missing?  I’d love your comments!

* I reserve the right to completely change my mind and go to pieces the week before Aidan actually starts anywhere, OK?


2 Responses to “Maternal Chip Missing?”

  1. Missezem September 20, 2010 at 1:17 pm #

    @sezi13 your not missing anything. Im puttung emi in nursery next month. We’re quite fortunate that our local private nursery seems to be a hell of a lot cheaper then urs. Ive felt bad about not getting her in earlier becauae she doesnt really interact with ANY kids her age. Once a week at a coffee afternoon and shes the eldest kid there. I absolutely cant wait. Im worried also about the “nap time” because like aiden, she doesnt nap at home, and the rare occasions she does, shes a bloody nightmare come bedtime! Im looking forward to spending some quality time alone with daisy, and when daisy is napping, ME TIME! aaah. 
    Like you I know she’ll thrive and interact well. We visited the nursery and she barely knew I was still there. I practically had to drag her out.
    I too like my evenings and am lucky that they both go to bed (and stay there) at about 7pm. I really don’t want that to change so am planning on being quite strict at keeping the routine the same after she starts at nursery. It’s nit a missing maternal chip. I think it’s normal. Your a “grown up” and there’s only so much toddler time you can take before you start to go mad! Unfortunately I live 300 miles from all her grandparents and 99% of all my friends too, do my toddler time is pretty much 24/7 which may be another reason I’m looking forward to it so much.
    Don’t worry. Aiden is a happy, well adjusted kiddy I’m sure. X

    • sezi13 September 20, 2010 at 1:48 pm #

      Thanks Tracey, it’s so good to know I’m not the only one! Sometimes with my circle of ‘mummy friends’ I feel like I’m at odds with everyone else, but maybe that’s just me being over-sensitive! Perhaps they’re not being honest!
      It must be really tough being so far away from family & friends, especially with the two little ones! Like you said, we need ‘grown-up’ time too!
      It sounds like Emi is going to absolutely love it and I’m sure Daisy will appreciate having you to herself!

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