“Let your tears come, let them water your soul.”

It’s been a longer than promised absence yet again, so let me begin with an apology.  As those of you who follow me on Twitter may know I have been struggling with self-esteem issues since New Year.  I lay the blame for this firmly at the door of all those bloody annoying tremendously helpful, and not patronising at all, adverts, articles & phone-ins about ‘The New You’ and how you should can be healthier, wealthier and just generally more smug better.

Things were improving and there were a lot of positive things on the horizon.  Potty training Aidan went surprisingly well (although not without a few ‘issues’ that we’re still working on) but cabin fever did get the better of me and my usually fantastic *cough cough* levels of patience. I’ve found myself snapping at Aidan and feeling resentful of the lack of ‘me time’ which has, in turn, made me feel like a terrible mother who should be thoroughly ashamed of herself – vicious circle much?!

So today I did something I haven’t done for quite a while and it really wasn’t under the ideal circumstances.  I cried.  I don’t mean a few little tears either,  I mean full, body wracking, noisy, sobbing.  Bless Aidan, he didn’t quite know where to put himself but was on hand with his ‘Don’t cry Mummy’ as well as ‘Sorry Mummy’ and ‘Aidan cuddle Mummy, no upset anymore’. Needless to say I assured him he wasn’t at all to blame and was a very good boy, but I did, of course, take him up on his offer of a cuddle, and what a good cuddle it was too!

Do you know what though? It made me feel better,as though some of my stresses and frustrations were washed away with the tears.

It prompted me to do some research and I found the above quote from Eileen Mayhew as well as the following Jewish proverb which I am going to write somewhere I’ll see it everyday.

“What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.”

Thanks for reading x