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Control Freak…..

24 Mar

I’m sure this will not come as a surprise to you, given my previous post about my OCD, but I am a control freak.

I find it very hard to delegate any tasks at all which really doesn’t help my stress levels.

Having said that, I’ve found it relatively easy to delegate to Aidan’s preschool for 2.5hrs every Thursday afternoon.  It must be because he’s such a little sod angel.

However, I am struggling with the fact that, other than what can be gleaned from the brief chat with his key worker when he’s collected or from the little tidbits of information that Aidan chooses to share, I have very little idea what he has been doing while he’s been there.

Last week he came home with purple paint on his hand and top, so I’m guessing he painted a picture.  (I’m so clever!)  He also started talking about things being bigger or smaller and saying Sharon (his key worker) had been showing him big and small stuff, so I’m guessing they did work on that too.

I understand that the focus is really on playing (Learning through Play) but I still want to know what he’s been doing!  I also understand that, at £10 a session rather than £60+ for a full day at nursery, I can’t expect the detailed notes the nursery will give you at the end of the day.

I have noticed his level of understanding, tolerance and use of different vocabulary have all dramatically improved and he is counting, or recognising letters and numbers, without prompting now, so what more can I ask really?

I think I just need to chill out……………or possibly install CCTV?

Sezi

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Tidy house, tidy mind…

30 Sep

As anyone who knows me will testify, I have an obsession with things being clean & tidy that is bordering on the obsessive.

If my house isn’t exactly how I want it I feel very depressed.  Things not being spotless or in the correct places makes me feel out of control and that my whole life is in a mess and as for my books, well, don’t get me started on that!  Let’s just say that if they’re not in alphabetical order you’d best fetch me an oxygen mask!

I realise that this is not a good thing.  Sure, we all want our homes to be clean, who wouldn’t? But, with a toddler in the house a certain amount of untidiness is probably completely normal. Not here!

I have tried to become a bit more relaxed about it all as I don’t want Aidan growing up with an unhealthy attitude to these things.  He already gets a bit upset if he drops some crayons or something similar shouting ‘Mess Mummy, mess!’ so I want him to be more chilled about that kind of stuff, he’s a child and shouldn’t be worrying too much about tidyness.

However, my relaxing went a bit far and I was becoming very down about things not being where they should.  So, on Tuesday morning, I dropped Aidan off at his Nanny & Grandad’s and started my mission.  Well, 2 hours later the house was more or less straight and I felt 100% better.  I didn’t only feel better about the house, I felt better about other things too.  It gave me a much more positive outlook and I feel more able to cope with whatever is thrown at me this week!  Now, I just need to shake off the dreaded cold I seem to coming down with…..

What about you?  Anyone else feel that if their house is cluttered so is their state of mind?

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Where’s my mojo gone?

17 Mar

Firstly, sorry for the enormous gap since my first post, I promise to try harder from now on!

I’m struggling at the moment to fight the feeling that, despite many positive things on the horizon, everything is crumbling around me and will topple and crush me very soon. I know that seems incredibly melodramatic but it really is the best way I can describe how I feel when I contemplate the astronomical amount of things I currently have on my ‘To Do’ list. Not that I actually have a list right now because the thought of even writing everything down also seems incredibly daunting and makes me slightly want to cry.
You see, I fear I have lost my list writing mojo. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but let me assure you, this is a huge deal for me. Lists are my ‘thing’. I’ve been frequently mocked in the past for the length of my lists (have to contain a certain number of items due to my OCD) or indeed for the sheer number of them. I once even wrote a list of the lists I needed to make!
I am aware I sound like a complete nutter here by the way.
So, I have what feels like hundreds of ‘jobs’ swimming around somewhere in my head just waiting for me to remember to do them.
Ok, you may say, start without a list. This is impossible for me. It’s just not how I work. I need that feeling of complete and utter organisation and focus that a list brings to the task at hand. I crave the feeling of satisfaction you get as you gradually tick items off.
So, I’m stuck. I can’t get my head around writing my lists and I can’t start without them.
What’s a girl to do? Surf the net I suppose!