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Keeping all the balls in the air…..

21 Mar

Yeah, its a naff picture.  It’s naff but it totally sums up how I feel at the moment.

Work has started to pick up, which is obviously a good thing.  However, the extra workload, combined with recovering from various illnesses, means that I am currently feeling like I’m being torn in too many directions and end up feeling incredibly guilty for wanting just an hour or two to catch up with my things (like this blog)!

I’m trying to be a good Mummy, successful at my work, keeping the house in some kind of order as well as wanting to develop some of my other interests and it’s making me incredibly stressed!

I want to give all of these things 100% and it simply isn’t possible, so I’m having to prioritise.  Obviously, Aidan comes first, then my work but, I have to admit, it’s a close-run thing between the other two!  For my sanity I need some time to focus on my ‘hobbies’ but I get very affected if I feel that my house is not in the tidy, ordered state I like.

What should I do?

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Extra work requires more lists…..and coffee!

13 Feb

Check out the other Silent Sunday posts over at Mocha Beanie Mummy.

Silent Sunday

Panic attack?

15 Nov

It won’t come as a surprise to you that I’m feeling a little swamped at the moment.  I’ve been banging on about it explaining my workload to anyone who will listen friends, family and Twitter chums endlessly quite a lot recently!

Last night as I went to bed things reached a rather unfortunate head.  I was already exhausted after a few horrendous nights with Aidan (it now seems he has a horrible cold which may explain things) so should have been asleep before my head hit the pillow. What happened instead was worrying.

As my head hit the pillow I was suddenly assaulted by an enormous feeling of panic about all the things I wanted to accomplish over the coming week.  As the list grew, one major deadline loomed large – 2 weeks until my exams.  My revision has not been going well and I feel like I’ll be heading into the exam room only being able to write my name, student number and perhaps perform the necessary journal entries.  For someone who never normally gets stressed out about exams this is odd.

I tried to tell myself to switch off, go to sleep and that things would seem better in the morning but it wasn’t working.  I began almost gasping for breath, my chest got tight and an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia hit me, so much so that I had to get out of bed and walk around for a few minutes until it passed.

Once it passed I decided to do a spot of lurking on Twitter (or ‘dogging’ as I have been known to refer to it in the past!) and then read a few chapters of a free iBook just to change my train of thought.  This worked and I was soon asleep but this morning I’m wondering, was this a panic attack?  Could I have managed it better and how can I prevent it happening again?