Keeping all the balls in the air…..

21 Mar

Yeah, its a naff picture.  It’s naff but it totally sums up how I feel at the moment.

Work has started to pick up, which is obviously a good thing.  However, the extra workload, combined with recovering from various illnesses, means that I am currently feeling like I’m being torn in too many directions and end up feeling incredibly guilty for wanting just an hour or two to catch up with my things (like this blog)!

I’m trying to be a good Mummy, successful at my work, keeping the house in some kind of order as well as wanting to develop some of my other interests and it’s making me incredibly stressed!

I want to give all of these things 100% and it simply isn’t possible, so I’m having to prioritise.  Obviously, Aidan comes first, then my work but, I have to admit, it’s a close-run thing between the other two!  For my sanity I need some time to focus on my ‘hobbies’ but I get very affected if I feel that my house is not in the tidy, ordered state I like.

What should I do?

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Silent Sunday – 20.03.11

20 Mar

Silent Sunday

Tuesday TBR – Week 2 – The Time Traveler’s Wife

15 Mar

Yes, I know.

The world and his wife has already read this.  Well, not me!

Last Friday, when I took Aidan on our regular weekly trip to the library, I forced myself to take a quick look at their shelves of books for sale.  All fiction books were 10p – yes 10p!  I think only buying five was mighty restrained of me!

Among the five that I bought (which will no doubt appear in the coming weeks) was The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

It’s a book that I’ve been meaning to get around to reading ever since it was released to great plaudits by Richard & Judy many great book critics.

My mum read it about 2 years ago and really enjoyed it but said that she felt it was a book best read in longer sittings rather than picking it up for brief spells.  After reading the synopsis again I can see why this may well be the case.  Therefore, I don’t know when I will start this one as I rarely get long, free periods of time for indulging in reading but I may well plan a long, hot bubble bath one weekend when there’s football on the telly!  This will keep hubby and Aidan occupied and I can spend an hour of quality time relaxing into the book.  I promise a review of it (if it hasn’t already been done to death!) when I do finally read it.

As before if anyone would like to join in with this on a weekly basis, let me know.

Sezi

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How would you sum me up? The 1 Word Meme

14 Mar

I’ve been very kindly tagged by Kate at The Five Fs to join in with Mummy From The Heart’s 1 Word Meme.

The idea behind it is that we are all guilty of being far too critical of ourselves and choosing to concentrate on the negatives rather than the positives.   I’m particularly bad at this and will always beat myself up about the things I haven’t done rather than patting myself on the back for the things I have done.  Mummy From The Heart’s explanation of how she came up with the idea for this meme is this:

This got me thinking about an email I received a few years back, one of those circular things that I normally hate but this one I loved and have never forgotten.  It was about the power of positive affirmations and how knowing what positive things others think of you can boost your own self-esteem.  It talked of an inspirational teacher who got all her children to write one positive word down to describe the other children in the class and then they had to hand them in.  The teacher then collated all the positive words for each child into a special sheet for them and handed it to them to read and keep.  They learnt that their peers saw them in ways they had never imagined and it had an immense effect on them.  The story goes that one of them died and a number of them attended the funeral and it was found that they all still had their lists 20 or so years later as they had been really touched by this loving gesture.  Did this really happen?  Who knows, but I love the sentiment of this story and therefore it does not matter to me if it was real.

Well, what about if us bloggers and virtual friends did something similar?  How marvellous would we all feel to learn these new facets of ourselves that we did not know existed.  Someone may say I am inspirational (another one I have heard about myself a few times recently) and me being me I would say ‘no not me’ but what have I done there?  Rubbished their opinion and that is not right, only they know if I have actually inspired them to do something.  If people are kind enough to give us a compliment we should be gracious enough to accept it…. and why not go one step further and actually go out and ask for it?

Well that is what I want us all to do.  I am creating a meme, called the 1 Word Meme and I would love for every one of us to be able to collate all the the positive words left by our real life friends, virtual friends and fellow bloggers so that we each have a sheet of positive affirmations to treasure and boost our self-esteem.

I’m really trying hard lately not to be such a pessimist or to give myself such a hard time so, although it goes against my nature, I’m going to ask you to describe me, in the comments below, in one word.  I look forward to reading what you all make of me!

As this is a meme, I’ll tag some other lovely bloggers.  Apologies if you’ve already been tagged!

Katie at What Katie’s Kids Did Next

Emma at Mummy Musings

Helen at Icklebabe

Sezi

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Silent Sunday – 13.03.11

13 Mar

Silent Sunday

One small step for Aidan, one giant leap for Mummy and Daddy…..

10 Mar

Today Aidan started preschool.

A momentous day and yet, to Aidan at least, it seemed to be just a minor turn in the path of his life.

I felt like I should take a photograph of him, all ready to go, but as he doesn’t wear a  uniform or have a special bag/backpack yet there wouldn’t have been much to distinguish it from any other photo of him.

He was excited all morning and seemed perfectly prepared for the fact that Mummy and Nanny wouldn’t be staying there with him.  He knew that Mummy was “going to get pennies” (a.k.a. working!) and he thought Nanny was going to do the same.  (Not sure how Nanny felt about that suggestion as she’s been retired for several years!)  I should probably explain that, as I normally work all day on Thursday, his Nanny will be the one taking him and picking him up every week so I thought it was important for her to be there to meet the staff and so it wasn’t so strange for Aidan next week when Nanny does it on her own.

Silly Mummy got us all to the preschool a little bit early and they weren’t quite ready to let us in so we had to wait outside for a little while, which Aidan found a bit frustrating.  Once they opened the doors he was raring to go, taking his coat off and stating that he wanted to go and play in the pink car!

He picked his name out from the stars on the table and put his coat and bag neatly on a chair, then stuck his star on the chair back.  Honestly, it was like he’d been there before!

After saying hello to his key worker, he was off and into the pink car!

I spent a few minutes going through some details (mainly about him being reminded to go to the toilet!) with his key worker and then, after seeing that he was very happy, decided that the time was right to say our goodbyes.  Once again, he wasn’t phased and gave me a lovely kiss and cuddle before saying “Bye Mummy, see you later”.  This made me a very happy bunny indeed!

What didn’t make me a happy bunny was then being delayed, unnecessarily, by the manager who kept thrusting forms at me and then, when I was halfway through completing them, saying that I could have taken them home to do!  She then spent a further five minutes finding a receipt for me for my payment.  By this time, Aidan had come over to me and Nanny several times to show us things, so had probably got the idea that we were staying.  All of this meant that when I finally did leave (after saying goodbye to him again) he started running towards the door, bawling his eyes out.  I know it was harsh but I didn’t turn back and just shut the door behind me.  What a bitch! Giving him more attention at this point would only have prolonged it and I knew the ladies there would be able to deal with him.

So off I went to work, wondering if Nanny would be getting a call from them soon!  I really couldn’t vouch for the accuracy of my work until I got a text from my Mum, just before 3, to say that she’d picked him up, (they like you to pick them up slightly early the 1st time) he was very happy and was looking forward to going again!  Apparently, when she got there he was sitting with all the other children listening to a story and didn’t notice she was there for quite a while.  His key worker said he’d settled in very well and he was proudly wearing a star sticker that he got for being a good boy!  He even asked to go for a wee about five minutes after we left!

The manager, as well as some of the other ladies there, commented on what a “confident, chatty, sociable, polite and happy little boy” he is.  Excuse me for a moment but…….that’s my son! *Proud mummy alert*

I’m prepared for the fact that next week, or the week after, or the weeks after that, may not go as smoothly but I’m chuffed to little mint balls with how well my little man coped with today.

Sezi

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Not prepared…..

9 Mar

Aidan starts at preschool tomorrow afternoon.

I’m nervous about it but probably not for the right reasons.

I’m not worried about him enjoying it or having fun as I’m sure he will.

I’m not worried about him getting upset when he realises I won’t be staying there with him. I know he will get upset but I’m confident he’ll get over it quickly and start playing.

I’m not worried about the people there keeping him safe & nurturing his curiosity and desire to learn as much as he can. I trust my instincts (and an outstanding Ofsted report) that I’ve picked the right place.

I’m worried that he won’t remember to tell them when he needs to use the toilet. I’m worried he’ll have an accident and feel embarrassed.

I’m worried he won’t sit still and listen to them when it’s time for a story. I’m worried he’ll be thought of as ‘naughty’ or inattentive.

I’m worried he’ll be too rough with the other children and won’t share the toys nicely. I’m worried he’ll be labelled a little thug!

I’m worried that he’ll get confused when Nanny comes to pick him up, not Mummy.

I’m worried that he doesn’t have a cool backpack to take his spare clothes etc in.

I am a fruitloop.

Sezi

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